Voices Project: Acceptance, Flexibility, and the Lessons of a Gap Year

I could write a book on my gap year, what it meant to me, and what I have learned and applied since then; in fact I plan to because I learned on my gap year that writing is a way I can preserve for myself and share with others at the same time.

My gap year taught me a few major lessons:

Accepting Things Out of my Control

In planning my gap year, I struggled to find opportunities in Italy, where communication with folks via email was not consistent, and I wasn’t able to communicate in Italian. I decided I would have to get there first and then make arrangements, and I felt like I was already starting my gap year on the wrong foot, but it challenged me to go for it and I learned that sometimes the best plan is to make a plan, and that sometimes the plan doesn’t come first.

Being Flexible in Adjusting Plans

Whenever a train was late, things fell through or didn’t work out, plans needed to be adjusted. I’m the kind of person that needs to have things planned out to feel secure, but my gap year forced me to have patience, be flexible, and go with the flow. It was a form of acceptance and helped me create peace in times of turmoil.

Living in the Present Moment

Sometimes, I was thinking about my plan, my next steps, timing and the clock, a thousand thoughts at once, but then there were moments I would just stop, and sit, and look and listen, and just be.

Those moments were some of the best moments on my gap year, just taking in where I was, what I was doing, others around me, the rain or sunshine, the smell or feel of a certain place, that made me conscious of my existence, both small and substantial at the same time.

Dreaming Big

I thought that traveling was for the old, white, and rich. Traveling for me had formerly only meant visiting family in El Salvador, not necessarily for leisure or as a luxury. We went when we could, to connect with our family living in El Salvador and we would just be at home with them. We didn’t go sightseeing, or touring. We would just live, and as wondrous as it was for me to be in El Salvador when I went, I imagined myself exploring other reaches of the world like that, but not for a long time. Not until after I had worked and worked, and had kids, and saved money, and bought a house, and had time off.

My gap year was “time on” in a way that is hard to explain in a world so bent on measuring quantitative outcomes. Traveling on my own budget, so young, by myself, opened the possibilities and timeline of my life. What was formerly impossible seemed a bit more possible, what was out of reach a bit more in reach, and what if? The beginning of another adventure.

Being Okay With Non-Closure

I feel like we all strive to live our best life, and we have an idea of certain outcomes we would consider perfect. So we try and plan, leave little room for a margin of error to avoid straying from perfection. My gap year was not perfect. It was hard and difficult, I cried and was confused, alone, and worried more than I thought I would be with my plans A-Z. But not everything has a perfect end or close. Not everything has be put out of sight and out of mind; some things will keep you wondering, keep you up at night, and keep you thinking about the possibilities. My mind was able to handle that, to handle life ripping like a crack in the earth rather than like scissors to paper, and I was okay with that. Sometimes being okay is perfect.

There is so much more about my gap year I could say, but I’m unable to sit and write it all down, and make sure every lesson and important moment I want to share is included, and that’s okay. The reader will have to be okay with wondering what else I could have said, okay with non-closure. But also know there is more that will come from my reflections, and others’ experiences on gap years. But I will say that it changed the trajectory of my life, and that I encourage exploration, wonder, travel, and more genuine, empathetic, human connection for everyone.

About the Author:

At 25, Cecilia Polanco owns and manages So Good Pupusas, a social justice food truck serving Salvadoran pupusas, and their partner non-profit Pupusas for Education, which awards college scholarships for undocumented students. Born in California to Salvadoran immigrant parents, and raised in Durham, Polanco was the second student to graduate from Durham’s Northern High School as a UNC Chapel Hill Morehead-Cain Scholar in twenty years. As a recipient in the first class of Global Gap Year Fellowship, Cecilia took a gap year between high school and college to volunteer and travel abroad as a global citizen. Her passions lie within access to higher education, business as a force for good, and advancing racial equity.